If you’re like me - if you are I feel for you - you’re a somewhat intelligent and un-religious person. You probably ask yourself this question all the time. What’s the matter with Christians - I mean really - what's wrong with them? I find myself asking … myself this question all the time, perhaps trying to figure out a possible solution to this ever widening gap between reasonable faith and religious fanaticism. It seems to me to be a problem that is becoming larger and larger, possibly one that could bring about the downfall of the free world, an Armageddon if you will. Considering the current events of mass hysteria over a Muhammad cartoon and a Virgin Mary bleeding out her ass. I thought maybe it might be apt to promote a bit of tolerance and understanding that is so lacking right now. To do this I guess I better lay the back story or perhaps some fast for instances of why religious people are becoming the new handicapped.
Firstly any thought process which relies on believing in a black and white world creates a mental instability that can only be undone by a few things; one is to die, two is to be shown the error of this kind of thinking by forward thinking individuals like myself - woo hoo me - , three is to be taken to the extremes of religious fanaticism eventually finding the error of your ways, fourth and finally is, to lose faith.
However we will not go too deeply into the cure at this point - even though it is being exercised at this moment.
Instead I will attempt to convince people into uniting and making tomorrow a brighter future by putting a stop to this religious fanaticism. The first step is realizing it as a problem.
Secondly any thought process or action that involves trying to convert people into yourself, or copies of yourself is - completely annoying - egotistical, borderline psychotic and creatively unimaginative. Why… well ask yourself this, does the world really need more of me? What is so great about me and the way I live my life? Is my way of thinking really the answer to everything? Hopefully these questions will shed some light not only on yourself, but also on how nuts it is to believe you're right.
Believing you're right is one thing, and a purely human condition, however most people keep their beliefs safely tucked away inside themselves not mentioning it to others and rightly so - hey what if you're wrong wouldn't that be embarrassing. But to think you're right, and not only to think you're right, but to try and coax others into your way of thinking is counter productive to man's mission on earth. I'm not saying that I know what it is, but I'm willing to keep my options open. The combinations, codes, and answers to all your questions are a never ending Rubik's cube of 20 billion colours, where no shape is exactly the same, and the sooner everyone realizes they don’t have a clue, the faster we can get to the answers.
Thirdly if you believe there is any other time then now - you have problems my friend. If you believe in some deep mystical afterlife where you have clouds as beds, halos, golden gates hanging in the middle of the air, 100 virgins on a secluded beach servicing your every sexual whim or a horned guy poking you with a pitchfork you obviously have no concept of reality. I mean really it sounds for the most part like a badly written children’s book and the other part is a pseudo soft porn fantasy. And if you believe to get to these places you have to be good because someone is watching your every move well… gosh the heavens couldn't possibly shelter your oversized ego. Do you really think what you're doing is that interesting that even a god with superpowers and all sorts of doodads is really going to watch you? You don’t think that he would be having parties with all the other superpower guys & girls or maybe entertaining himself. Think about it what would you do if you were god? And also remember that believing in One Creator, One God, One people is very similar to One Reich, One People, One Fuehrer and we all know how that ended.
If you’ve ever met anyone with Downs syndrome you’ll know what a pain they can be. They are violent and have no understanding of reality. If you've ever met a fanatical Christian, and I'm not talking about the ones that bother you when you're out on the town getting wasted, but the ones that prevent gay men from getting operated on in hospitals after being beaten to a pulp by a gang of anti-gay protesters. These are the ones that are prepared to use violence to prove their faith, the ones you cannot reason with, the ones that have interpreted the words of their faith to suit their wants, needs, agendas and hopes. These people are retards - the new handicapped - because originally they had a brain they just decided early on not to use it. What's worse, never having a brain, or having one but not using it?
Most people, who believe in freedom of speech, believe in it for the very reasons that they don’t like. They believe in a person's right to say something that they disagree with, because it’s a two way street, they understand not everyone is the same and not only that, they understand it takes all types. This is where the handicapped connotations of Christianity and religion come into play. Almost like a spoiled child that won’t clean up its room without first screaming for hours on end, crying, throwing toys and saying “I Hate You”, the Christian religious right manages not only to not have to clean up their room, they manage to get their parents to swap rooms with them.
So what happens when you mix these components of retardation and Nazi like superiority in numbers and ignorance together?
Well you get censorship like a South Park episode being cancelled in America & banned from DVD release and violence like the riots after the Mohammed cartoon depicting Mohammed in a warmongering fashion.
Were these cartoons offensive? Well of course they were. People got offended and people died, I think that’s proof enough. But the question I guess you have to ask yourself is… why are these religious people prepared to sacrifice their lives - literally - over a cartoon satire? The answer is - as I have already explained - they are in fact handicapped. So does this mean we should be more forgiving, tolerant and subservient to them because of their mental deficiency? The answer of course is a resounding no, but this leads us to the problem of satire.
Satire is the most pure and longest surviving form of comedy, its roots can be traced back to the days of the Greeks where play writes like Aristophanes wrote plays like “Lysistrata“. It has been one of the most effective weapons for causing change without violence since well…ever. So being that satire is designed to be offensive and ridicule various establishments, be it Religion, be it Political or Ideological, it is a wonder that people are unable to see satire as well… satire. And then you remember that the people that are unable to make this huge leap into realizing“it’s a joke”, are Christians - well to be more correct anyone with religious affiliations.
Obviously someone - namely me - needs to make these religious people realise that not only is satire good for non religious people but also it also is good for them.
Satire not only gives us non-religious people something to laugh about, it also gives the religious person something to get offended about. Bunches of religious people band together to stop the evil or offence, which in turn creates a stronger religious community suddenly they have a manifestation of the devil. As they say the devil has many forms and must be stamped down back to the depths of “hell’ah can I get an amen‘ah!” The fact that us so called “heathens” make a joke about some menstrual blood coming out a religious figure actually is good for them, and religious Christians owe South Park a debt of gratitude. In fact any kind of taboo subject to be explored by any filmmaker, artist, musician, journalist, writer or animator is something religions should be not only embracing but contributing towards.
I personally would love to see Christians ridiculing how someone like me is completely hypocritical, spiritually redundant and completely unfunny. Unfortunately it will never happen because as I said before these people are handicapped and have no sense of humour.
But anyhow side swipes aside, satire works as both a device for promoting discussion, communication, knowledge, new ideas and of course a way for us to laugh at our superiors. It is something that should be cherished by all cultures, creeds and religions and for the most part I believe it is. Satire helps us not only find the boundaries of prescribed decency but it also allows us to destroy them. It lets us know “Hey maybe depicting Mohammed in a war mongering manner ain’t such a good idea” or “Perhaps having the current pope being splattered with menstrual blood is slightly out of hand.”
I’m not saying people are unawares of this kind of ridicule, the Virgin Mary for many years has been satirized, merchandised, victimized, and scandalized more than any other icon. So maybe the question is why the Virgin Mary is such an easy target for any artist, comedian, and writer to aim at. Could it be that the idea of an immaculate conception is maybe - a little far fetched - slightly unbelievable - almost as unbelievable as those weapons of mass destruction - too pure to be taken seriously?
Whether or not you find either of these cartoons offensive is besides the point, the goal of comedy or satire is never solely to offend, sure it’s a by product but the original intention is always to promote discussion and a common dialogue - and it works. In the week or so when South Park was in danger of being cancelled in NZ, people began voicing their opinions and speaking up, debates were being held not only on TV but in the streets, the papers, the internet and even reaching to the NZ Prime Minister’s desk. Everyone wanted to know what everyone else thought - the Christian stand point was fairly clear - people talked down, up, and around the topic mostly missing the obvious point that I’m making abundantly clear - hopefully - and that is that people need to look and think a little deeper than the surface. People based their opinions pre actual watching of the South Park show, they based their opinions without any context, any knowledge of the episode, any analysis of previous episodes, any analysis of the shows constructions, representations, or any analytical thinking of any kind.
The problem is people refuse to think any deeper than the surface, instead looking for easy answers that take the responsibility away from them. No one wants to be accountable for their beliefs - people prefer to be lead like sheep through a paddock, finding shade underneath an apple tree before finally being hit on the head and put through the slaughterhouse. - This is why we elect people to make decisions for us. People who will shoulder the responsibility of voicing our opinions and deal with the consequences when they turn out to be misguided or wrong.
The news media all presented one view, “It's offensive”. This was mainly because no one else really gave a damn. The groups making the most noise were the religious groups and they got the most face time, the average person felt well… “It doesn’t really bother me” “Why should I care?” in fact to quote a random person on the street “So what”. While Christians were practicing prostrating themselves on the cross most people were thinking about what to do for their child’s birthday, what to cook for dinner, what colour to paint the house, what time they needed to leave to get to work and do all their errands before 12pm. Eventually the show was aired by Camwest as scheduled unlike in Australia where they deferred the episode - which means they‘re going to wait until people forget about it then play it - or America who not only cancelled it from airing but also banned it from sale on the DVD box set. Christians around NZ held prayer vigils whilst the show was airing, singing hymns outside the Camwest offices and other public places.
Now a reasonable person would perhaps take the fact that “God” did not do anything as perhaps proof that he does not exist. Surely if he existed he would do something, anything or at least send them a message saying “Hey it’s cool guys. Don’t worry about the hymns and everything” but nothing happened. No hand of god reaching down to mysteriously turn the TV signals off, no plague of locusts, no parting of sea, nothing. The show aired and people who perhaps weren’t even regular South Park watchers made an effort to watch the episode to see what the fuss was all about. Afterwards a couple of thousand of complaints were made to the broadcasting standards authority - by Christians who only watched the show so they could complain - here’s a thought… change the channel it could work, seriously it could work. I’m not kidding, the simplest answer is always the best.
So now we get back to the point of the handicapped nature of these people - its repetitive I know - who can’t fathom people having different ideas other than theirs. But surely their retardedness can’t be the sole reason for their overbearing quest for a sanitized, sterile and bland world. Perhaps there’s a little more under the surface, perhaps realizing they are retarded is not enough. Maybe we need to look at why they do what they do. As I said before people prefer to not think if they can avoid it, maybe my positing of the Christian as a retard is not the sole problem perhaps a little more understanding of retards is needed - well here goes. To do this first I we must become a retard - so here goes.
I’m a retard now, I read my bible everyday (the New Testament), in fact I have five carefully placed everywhere in my life. One in my bedside table next to my bed. One in the bathroom for when I’m on the toilet. One in my car in the glove compartment. One on a small table next to my reclining chair where I read the newspaper and plan my entertainment for the night - which normally involves watching DIY reality shows and Extreme Makeover, and lastly one bible kept in its plastic seal for when my old bibles get too tattered, or when I find someone in need of the lords help. I give them my old bible and open my sealed one - which I immediately replace next time I‘m out and about. I also carry around a pocket sized bible in my shirt pocket - for emergencies.
Every decision I ever make is based on my bible. When I’m in a dilemma - which I have many of - I turn to the good book and read a couple of passages - this normally sets me on the path of the righteousness. I’m happy. I love my family and brothers and I wish more people could understand and feel the warmth of the lord the way that I do, he is indeed good. I try and turn as many people as I can onto god and his teachings, I do this in appreciation for my creator, I do this because I want him to like me. I know he loves me, but I want him to love me even more, I want to sit next to him in heaven and bask in his glory. I go to church every Sunday, along with my wife and three kids. My two sons go to Sunday school and learn about the glory of god, my newest daughter who is 1 year old sits with me and wife as we listen to the pastor give his sermon. My wife and I have separate bibles, which we read as the pastor directs us, our baby sits in her basinet on the church chairs - occasionally she gets put into the crèche when she is in good spirits.
Some people would call me boring or bland, but these people are people who do not understand the joy and fun that serving the lord brings. I just wish they could understand, I try my best and never give up hope on these people, I pray for their souls every day. My sons listen to rock and roll music like “The Creed”, “P.O.D”, “The Blink 182s”, and “The Demon Hunter’s” I don’t know if I agree with their sound but since they are Christian bands, and sing songs of love and devotion of the lord. I can only let my sons listen - I mean I’m not a tyrant - anyways it would be hypercritical of me if I denied them there “Rock n Roll” when I myself give into temptation and occasionally listen to “Wings”. So this is my life, and I’m happy this way, and I wish more people could be happy, just like me.
I sometimes worry about my sons - especially my daughter who has only just been born. I worry because there are not enough good Christian role models on TV or in magazines, I worry about what they could grow up to be if they have role models like “Britney Spears”, “Robbie Williams” and “Will Smith” who are always on TV ,this is why I have limited the amount of TV we watch in the house. I see no way around it. I feel TV doesn’t represent a wholesome image for my kids, so my kids are only allowed to watch the news, and occasionally extreme makeover home edition - as a treat - then they must do their homework and lights out by 9 o clock. I occasionally catch them watching the pop music shows, and when I do I have to discipline them, I normally ground them for a week or two but sometimes they back-chat me and I have to take off my belt. I do it for their own good, and I take no pleasure in doing it, but sometimes my belt can do more correction than grounding them.
It makes me mad that all they have on TV is sex, drugs, and loose virtues. Why do people watch this garbage - if god was here he’d put a stop to it - but as always us good Christians get the duty - and pleasure - of carrying out his work for him. It’s hard to get people to listen to us sometimes, they don’t realize we’re only doing gods work - and we’re only doing it because they haven’t found god yet. If they found god then we wouldn’t need to do it, but I don’t mind doing it - I’m working for the lord and I don’t need thanks. Although it would be nice to have people thank us… I mean the time I stood outside the hospital with a “honk if you hate abortion” sign I got yelled at and abused by people, I can only assume they agree with abortion - which is wrong!
Abortion is wrong, only god has the right to kill! These people are killing poor defenceless babies, and only god has the right to do that! It’s in the bible and people choose to not only ignore his word but actively encourage murder - and it is murder! If people would only open the good book like I do and turn to exodus: 21-23 they’ll see god’s words on abortion.
Exodus 21:22
If men who are fighting hit a pregnant woman and she gives birth prematurely but there is no serious injury, the offender must be fined whatever the woman's husband demands and the court allows.
21:23 But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life.
I mean look it’s there as plain as day “Life for Life” “Miscarriage” a miscarriage, an “abortion”, a “life for a life”. These people that get abortions should be killed, like in the good book but we don’t because only god has the right to kill - I personally think if we did kill them it would stop people from getting abortions. But still no one thanks me for this work, its not that I want to be thanked … I mean I’m doing gods work and that’s thanks enough, but it would be nice. Better than getting thanks would be if more people found the lord because of me, that for me would be my reward.
Its hard work being a good Christian sometimes, it makes you real mad when people won’t listen to you. You spend your weekends trying to get young people to understand that they are living in sin and need to find the lord to redeem themselves - but do they listen. No. You ask them if they would consider letting god into lives and they reply with “Jesus Christ will you fuck off.” You ask them to not take the lords name in vain and then they reply with “Look will you leave me the fuck alone” then when you ask them not to swear they say “Look, just leave me alone”. They don’t understand I’m doing this for their own good, they don’t know the lord like I do, they don’t know the pleasure he brings you, they just plain don’t know, and it’s my job as a soldier of the lord to make them know. They may say they don’t want the lord in their lives but I know that they really mean they're afraid to be loved by the lord.
These people with their pre-marital sex and anonymous sex is absolutely sick - don’t even get me started on those homo-sexual’s - the lord never intended a woman or a man to live in sin like these people who don’t even believe he exists. I try my best to save them, but some are just too far gone and under the devils control - especially those queers. I wish sometimes that god would smite them with his fiery wrath just to show them the way. There’s nothing that makes me mad more than people who act like he doesn’t exist, they’re the devils minions each and every one of them. I can understand people who aren’t proud Christians - like I am - I can understand people who just want to worship god in their own way, but what I cant bear is people who hurtfully make a mockery of everything he stands for.
The people who walk around wearing “God I’m good” t-shirts, and have tattoos of Chinese yin or yang emblems, wearing skin tight jeans and cussing all the time while they drink their lattes. They take the lords name in vain and try at every point to put him down. The ones that listen to the Marilyn Manson’s, and all those other bands that sound exactly the same, it seems they only live to make the world worse by creating more hate and intolerance - especially towards us good Christians. That’s why if the Marilyn Manson’s ever come to my neighbourhood I’ll get together with my brothers and protest, it will be a peaceful demonstration we will sing hymns and pray for the souls of the Goths who are under the devil's spell. God willing we will get them kicked out of town so they can’t pollute any more peoples minds - it’s the children I worry about the most though. How these rock n roll singers can pollute these young impressionable children at such a young age is detestable.
However they’ll get their comeuppance when their being driven down to hell by the lord. So all I can do is live my life as a good Christian and try and make others do the same. Sometimes it seems like a thankless task, but I know the lord is looking down upon me and smiling. I know he is proud of my work. Its amazing how god works, he certainly works in mysterious ways I can tell you that for a fact. I talk to him every day and I can always feel his love talking to me in ways that I can’t explain, he has given me a mission and I’m doing my best to fulfil it. My mission is to bring the children of Christ back to the throne of power for god to take his rightful throne on earth as our god. Just like Jesus he has given me a mission, and I thank him and praise him for it - I will not let you down my creator, my lord, my saviour.
So when I heard at our weekly Wednesday bible meeting - where we discuss the bible, and how we can implement the teachings of it into our lives more - one of the sisters who worked at a TV channel - as a receptionist - told us that a cartoon was going to be aired that displayed the Virgin Mary bleeding out her ass, I knew we had to do something. We gathered around and planned how we would handle this affliction that has been brought upon us. We all turned to Matthew 12:31 and understood what we had to do
Matthew 12:31
And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.
I know - as did everyone else - that this is a plot by the devil to undermine the lord’s presence. This is the devil trying to destroy the Christian faith by bringing it into disrepute. I can see - as we all can see - this isn’t a harmless joke. This attempt by the devil to destroy everything god stands for, this is his attack on the throne of god. This, has the devil’s hand all over it, this is him “Beelzebub” recruiting members for his dark army. This is pure evil and we can’t let the general population see this - they won’t understand it as the devil's work, they’ll see it as just a TV show - but we know, I know, us good Christians know it’s an attack, which we have to stop at all costs. This cartoon doesn’t just make a mockery of the pope and the Virgin Mary - our beautiful sweet fair lady - it makes a mockery of every word god spoke and every Christian who is trying to serve him - praise him.
I asked one of the young lads who works at my office - who I’m sure is a protestant - if he had ever seen an episode of this show “South Park”. He told he watches it all the time and that it is hilarious - I found it hard to bite my tongue and not punch him for his trespass, how he could find the devil’s work so funny is beyond me. God will surely cast his soul into hell with the rest of these blasphemers - he told me the show has made fun of the church for many years but also Jews, nigggers, fags, pop icons, rock stars, transsexuals, fat people, hippies, Japanese and Chinese to name a few. But I knew that the Christian people have been singled out, as we always are for being children of Christ - and it has to stop. They never single out Arabs or Muslims it’s always us good Christians, and if they do mock someone else its always people or religions that deserve it, it’s always us good Christians that get the sharp end of the stick.
But it all will stop when me and my Christian brothers protest and sing hymns to put this evil to rest. We will take our rightful place on the throne of power with our god - and it will be soon. Mark my words it will be soon, and we will rejoice and sing hymns of love for our lord, our creator, our saviour, our beautiful beautiful god. It is my mission given to me by my lord and I will not fail him for he is the light, the good, the only way to heaven, the only way to purity, the only way to righteousness, the only god, the answer to everything - My lord, my saviour hallowed be the name, by kingdom come thy will be done, on earth as it is in in heaven, and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, my lord, amen.
So now that I’m no longer a retard I must tell you of my dream.
In this dream people of all different creeds, races, ethnicities, and incomes were playing in the streets each having equals rights to hate anyone as much as they wanted to. And as I walk down this street and get called a “Cracker ass cracker” by an African American hoodlum, I tastefully reply with “Wassup, my nigger” while beating my chest, he of course replies with “Keepin it real dog” to which I reply “Yeah real dumb, ignant ass motherfucker”. I can just see it now American soldiers walking hand in hand with Iraqi civilians calling them “Rag heads” while Iraqis call them “G.I Jerkoff”. Russians walking through time square NY handing out pamphlets saying “Your all a bunch of capitalist pigs” while wall street businessman hand out pamphlets saying “Don’t be a communist fool, money rules” and Hare Krishnas hand out free books and rosemary prayer beads saying “I love you even if you’re a cunt” at the same time. Homosexuals and lesbians ridiculing straight people's dress sense as hetero people say “Go listen to some Wham fagnuts”.
A society where I can be called a “misogynistic chauvinistic pig” and I can reply with “Run out tampons, did we” without anyone kicking up a fuss. Not a society built on hate but a society built on honesty and reality. No reason to bottle up your hate and become an angry sniper in Washington or a Timothy McVeigh wannabe just let your hate out. Let the ignorance and fear out into the streets and watch as it disintegrates into nothing. You call someone who works at McDonalds a “loser” as he spits in your Big Mac saying “listen bitch, the last thing you need is another burger”. A tit for tat society where people express themselves without censorship, without fear, without violence, without consequences other than a better comeback. A society where people are free to take mind expanding drugs without fear of spending years being ass fucked if a cop comes by at the wrong time. In fact the police have emergency crews that hand out joints and stern warnings of “Hey, Chill out buddy.” and “You better smoke that shit right meow” A society where your sole responsibility is to keep the place tidy for the next generation to inhabit.
This is my dream, a dream where a white girl and a black girl can walk down the street hand in hand charging 50 cents for a blowjob and 10 cents to watch. A dream where no body takes anything seriously and politicians are not voted in by financial policies - that make no sense - educational policies - that teach kids only how to become more employable - foreign policies - that poke their noses into other peoples business - but their ability to be honest. Just think of it a world where Bill Clinton can get his dick sucked by as many chubby interns as he wants and he can say well “I got me some… Huh huh”, a world where all disputes are handled by savvy comebacks and jokes about how fat or dumb your mother is. I walk further down the valley and hills of this dream finding people to be completely happy and everybody believing in nothing but themselves and their ability to make a difference - If they want to.
I continue walking higher and higher up the mountain as the sun pours down on me burning my skin, which flakes and swirls around in the air like that fucken plastic bag in American Beauty. As I get higher up the mountain I see ; failed actors roaming the streets pretending to be William Shakespeare putting on shows at every traffic light substituting every word that makes absolutely no sense with “Cunt” and in extreme cases “Fucken Cunt”, Jim Morrison walking the streets with Jimi Hendrix, both tripping balls as they occasionally play the guitar and sing, The Rolling Stones find the elixir of youth and are all transformed back to their thirty year old selves and play concerts where not only can you get in, they're free, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas commit hare kare together after having drunken sloppy sex together - Spielberg was the catcher by the way.
Drew Carey gets molested by 20 chubby chasers, and told at every point by a butch looking black woman named Butch “You see, you're just not funny Drew.” All sports games now have cannons and diseases like syphilis that must be used when any game gets boring. The TV now emits frequencies that actually make you smarter until your head explodes and it even lengthens and strengthens your penis, unfortunately vaginas shrink. Bill Hicks walks around smoking a carton a day - he managed to cut down, I called him a “lightweight” and he went on this rant which lasted forever and I didn’t realise he was ridiculing me until he said “I fucken hate you, you stole all my material fucker.”
And as I stand on top of the mountain screaming “fag” at every hiking and bicyclist enthusiast that goes past a distant yell of “Fuck face” can be heard bringing a smile to my face, as I look off into the distance watching the sunset thinking “This is so gay” I fall through a black hole and wake up.
Unfortunately my dream is interrupted by a bunch of Jehovah’s Witness’s knocking at my door at 7.00 am, which is annoying because I was just about to judge Scarlett Johanson, Cristina Ricci and Angelina Jolie having a dick sucking competition. But back to reality we go, where religious zest arrives at your door dressed in high heels stealing your x-rated dreams.
But the unfortunate thing here is not only are my x-rated dreams stolen but yours are as well.
How many times has a film been banned by a conservative religious group?
This is a rhetorical question because it is a never ending saga of Christianity trying to be the moral compass of the world. They know what is best for us, they know that a movie containing a rape scene (Straw Dogs, Irreversible, Baise Moi, to name a few) is not good for the international consciousness, and so this is why they protest, whine, whinge, hold prayer vigils and so on. They also have problems with genital mutilation (Piano Teacher), stories of sexual discovery (‘Y Tu Mama Tambien’ or for those who can’t read Spanish ‘And Your Mother Too‘), un-simulated sex scenes (Intimacy), and blasphemy (Life of Brian) these are the more recent ones but there are many more.
The only problem I have with films like these being banned is… well most of them are incredibly good films and deserve to be seen. I don’t know I guess I’m just one of those crazy people that think for themselves and don’t like be told what they can and can’t watch. Maybe it’s a hangover from my teenage rebellion days but its still there. Once again these films were never actually seen in their full context, before Christian moral groups wanted to ban them. Their thought processes seem to be fixated with one thing, the taboo, the forbidden, and this means a movie like ‘Irreversible’ with a five minute rape scene no longer stands as a movie or a story or even a way to pass the time but a rape. All the careful work laid out by the director and actors become lumped into the category of rape. That is to say there is nothing in this movie but a rape, and that is all it is about.
Now I guess the banning of these movies would be fine if it was a two way street. But unfortunately it is not, any movie that has any “good” Christian morals can never be banned - unless you live in Malaysia or Pakistan. Any movie that the Christian faith believes is good for the culture of their people even if it is incredibly violent, offensive to other cultures or promotes hate of a race must be seen. ‘Passion of the Christ’ is a movie - which is quite possibly one of the most disturbing pictures ever made, and even more disturbing is the fact that they successfully lobbied to get the movies rating lessened from an R18 to an R13. - That illustrates the double standards held by your average Christian.
What they don’t seem to realize is that banning something only makes it more sought after - the forbidden apple if you will. Movies, paintings, cartoons, video games, books and music all become more wanted and needed. People sought after these kinds of work, why? … well to see what all the fuss is about. They watch and look at these so called offensive works and think “I don’t have problem with it. Its actually pretty good” and they tell their friends, and they tell their friends and so on until enough people have seen it that it no longer is taboo or controversial.
So how do we stop these fanatical people who have become insane with ignorance, fear and hate? Well the most efficient method - without violence - is preventative measures. Try to discuss, inform, chat, love and cherish every person on this earth, try to make sure a culture of ignorance, hate and fear does not arise out of poverty, isolation, violence, and lack of education, and if that sounds gay to you then try the alternative lie, hate, steal, cheat, and offend every Christian you know or meet - Hey you never know it could work. But if that sounds too proactive or reeking of effort try to inform by printing off this pros and cons sheet, and passing it on to your friends. If you have no friends print it off and paste it on a wall somewhere.
So now that I’ve educated and filled your mind with profanity, blasphemy, offensive language, pseudo penthouse forum letters and racial stereotypes aplenty it’s probably time for me to sign off.
So here I am signing off and “putting the fuck back in go fuck yourself”.
If you are someone or you know someone who is looking for faith or religion why not do a little shopping. I mean you know do a price comparison and see what’s being offered. At the end of the day it’s your soul, time or life you’re paying with so you might as well get a good deal on it. I’ve tried to mention most religions but as there are so many and a lot of them are offshoots of other religions not all of them have been included. If any of these don’t take your fancy then go have a look for yourself. There are numerous variants of these and polar opposites of these, so find something that suits you, and if all else fails you can always write rants about why religion is gay.
So happy shopping and remember buyer beware, its hard to return a religion when you're not entirely satisfied with it.